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Sept 1 2002 - From a letter from Richard Allen Davis to the CCADP
"...Well, I've been getting a lot of weird letters, asking about certain things in my life, as a kid. So I need you to add this 3 page typed statement about my childhood. "
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Statement of Richard Allen Davis, Sept 2002
SUFFERING THRU A CHEAT ON DEATH 09/01/02
So, I have come to the understanding that there are people out there in this world that would like some understanding of "me", though I don't understand "why." There are so many innocents on the rows, across America, "why" focus your attention on someone the likes of "me".
So, I have decided to give people a taste of "Prince Charming", though you might feel at times that you feel your choking, thats only because you decided to bite off more than you need, and your just "choking on a bad seed."
So put your emotions in
check, better yet, visit the bathroom and relieve yourself of any undue
pressure, because the last I need is for someone to write me and complain
how I've caused them some physical anxiety. Hopefully you'll get your
"fixer" in the making of one, such
as "me."
A TALE OF WOE
First you have to know
that I have never held any sympathy or pity for "me", I took life as it
was handed to me, as a kid, accepted things the way it was, because one doesn't
know if the life they have is good or bad, only what is shown to them, or
not shown. I was taught you don't
cry over spilt milk, sooner
or later its water under the bridge.
You need to know the type
of womb I came from, though first understand that I would not allow my attorneys
to use the, "abuse excuse". As I saw it, there was no "abuse", it was
life, I've known others who had it worse, so I have nothing to complain about,
this is for those who want
to know about "me."
My mother, she had (2)
boys before meeting my father, which he never knew about, because she and
her family kept them hidden from him, whenever he came over to see her.
Later, when he was conned into asking her to marry him, I found out during
my trial, by her mother, my Indian grandmother, that one Saturday morning
she dressed the (2) boys up and they left the house, when my mother came
back later that day, t he (2) boys were not with her and she would not say
where they ended up. As my grandmother said, probably like cats, tied
up in a sack and tossed in the water. Nobody ever found out and nobody
pressed her about it, that
was life.
Learning this, I can now understand her actions of finally breaking out of the "eminent front" that she wore. My father had finally made something of himself, his life, for his family, but she could not contain herself and became the gutter snipe dog bitch, she had always been. My father proved her "unfit & immoral"and won custody of all (5) kids, though he wasn't going to make any of us live with him that didn't want to, so he allowed us to make a choice. My (2) older brothers stayed with her, while my (2) younger sisters and I went with our father. I was 12 years old, (1) sister 7 years old, (1) 5 years old, my brothers were 14 and 16 years old.
GROWING UP TIME
My father said it was
time to grow up and he gave me the large trunk, to go pack up my sisters
and my clothes. I now understand him not wanting both my mother and
her mother being on him, as they were both at the house. As I was in
my sisters' room trying to get their clothes, my
mother and grandmother were
in the doorway, yelling at me, as to what I could take or not. When
I told them that we were leaving and my sisters needed all their clothes,
emotions became hot.
This was when my mother informed me that I had been born a "blue baby", and that if the doctor had had any sense, he would have let things be, and that she knew I was a "bad seed" because the best part of "me" had been left on the sheets, "though I didn't understand this statement till later in life." I was told t hat I was just living on borrowed time and nothing would matter in life for "me". My grandmother told me how everything my father said about my mother was a lie, where I then felt the need to tell her, "I've lived it", she feed us dog food and knows it, you provided the barber straps, because the hangers were leaving marks. I saw her in the backseats with other men.
It was at this time that my best move was to just leave with what I had and get out of there, growing up.
My mother had all the
visitation rights, though we never heard from her, I didn't care much, but
my (2) sisters were always asking, never wrote, called or visited.
As my father told me, when moving to the redwoods, you have to take care
of your sisters, I have to work, you'll have food,
if you run low, there are
the guns and you know where the fishing poles are, "at least you will know
what you are eating up here, because you'll be fixing it."
My mother told the law enforcement, about why she never tried to see us (3) kids, "we were divorced and they made their choice."
"ME"
I offer no excuses, I
seek no redemption, I have never asked for sympathy, nor pity from anyone
of this world, I have never had none for "me". I am up front about
things and if that bothers people, then they need to take a "reality check."
I know and understand what I have
coming in life, because
I have been living on borrowed time. I have always wanted a run for
my money, mostly taken from others, but that is life. So I have no
problem in paying my dues, or giving them a run for their money, as it should
be.
Richard Allen Davis
PO Box D11903-1EB100
San Quentin state prison
San Quentin, CA
94974 USA
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